Angel Viola

Wendy's service: Credits

I live a thousand kilometres away from where we chose to have the service, so I did very little of the work, other than finding the photo albums and writing one speech.

The real work was done by Kelli and Fran Ashbridge, and by Michael and Lynette Dunn. And, of course Wendy. The overall strategic planning was done back in February. I delegated most of the actual tactical implementation other than a few yes/no questions with Mike several weeks back. The actual service was exactly the way I wanted it. Thanks for a perfect send-off.

I have said several times that you can measure the value of your own life by the value of the friends who choose to associate with you. I thank all of Wendy's friends for proving her value by, er, just being her friends. I thank both families, both mine and Wendy's, for their support through this period.

I will be posting a couple of extracts from the speeches once I get back to Calgary. (The internet connection I'm using to post this is very flakey and will fall over at any moment.)
Angel Viola

Sue Jacobs - Remembering Wendy

I’ve known Wendy for 35 years, but I’ve learned more about her in the last couple of months than I ever knew, and it has only been recently that I’ve discovered who Wendy really was. Now I pay tribute to the Wendy I had only just started to get to know.

My last visit to Wendy, just days before she passed, was a bittersweet reunion. I brought my infant son for her to meet, and even though she couldn’t see him, I took her hand and rested it on his head, and for those few short minutes I know she knew we were there. On that same day, we reminisced about the years gone past, looking at old photos and laughing as the memories that resurfaced. I like to think that Wendy was laughing with us.

Wendy did not go alone when she passed - she took with her a piece of everyone who had the pleasure of knowing her. I told Wendy that she will shine again someday… but I was wrong, she never stopped shining. Wendy sparked something in everyone she met, and that flame lives on in all of us.

For Wendy, the suffering is over. For those left to mourn her passing, the journey is just beginning. The hardest thing for a person to do is to helplessly watch someone you love die, and I now pay tribute to one person who stayed by Wendy’s side throughout her entire battle. I remember Wendy’s and Greg’s wedding, and how Wendy toasted Greg. She said she’d have never made it even that far without him by her side. And then when her illness recurred, he was still there, always by her side until the end. So now I pay tribute to Greg. For Greg, a new journey is just beginning. It won’t be an easy ride, but know that you are not alone. You are being thought of and remembered as you go forward with your life.

Finally, my heartfelt condolences go out to Wendy’s family… Frankie, Janice, Kelli and John, and to the extended family and friends - too many of us to name. Life is a gift, one that is so easily taken away without warning. There is no fairness or justice in it, and there is nothing positive surrounding it – it simply just sucks. May it bring us some small measure of comfort knowing that Wendy’s pain is over, and may memories of her ease the pain and emptiness we feel inside.

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Angel Viola

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There will be a memorial service for Wendy Goss on Saturday April 1st at 1:00PM. The service will be held in the Danish-Canadian Community Centre, located at 17672 57 Avenue in Cloverdale (Surrey). If you have not already talked to One of us, please reply here to let us know how many are coming.

Click for map.
Angel Viola

Plan B -- Peace and Dignity

Back in January, I came home from the conference with Fran and Wendy and the oncologist. I was telling a friend on one of the IM chats that we had been forced to give up on the chemotherapy.

Q: So what is plan B?
A: Peace and dignity.
Q: THAT's a plan B??


It takes a lot of strength to keep the people around you sane in a situation like this. I hope that when my time I can show the strength that Wendy displayed in that final six weeks. Peace? Yes. Dignity? Yes. Other than a couple of days of quiet despair back in November, she faced the situation with calm reassurance that made it impossible for those nearby to panic. She set out to plan the details like she would any other voyage.

Even in that final week, when we all knew where things were going, she kept showing that flashbulb smile and cheerful approach to whatever was facing her. We all die sometime. Few do it with such strength and dignity. "Plan B" may not have been what my friend was looking for when he asked the question, but she fulfilled it to perfection.

I hope that I can find such strength and peace when my time comes.
Angel Viola

Rough count of attendees for the service on April 1.

The service will be held on the afternoon of Saturday April 1. Since we need to rent chairs and sandwiches (just try getting the deposit back on the latter), we need a rough count of who will be there. So far I've got two from Calgary ATCO, and haven't been in contact yet with AmEx offices yet about this.

If you prefer, you can email Greg or Kelli or Mike/Lynn. If you post a reply here, please put a name on your post if you're not an LJ member (such as Atco or family members).
Angel Viola

Everquest comments

(ed note:  I had trouble decoding the cut'n'paste from EQ, so I hope that the following is correct.)

From: tadonnen

Date: Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:25:13 -0800

The forum post I made has slowed down, so I thought I could paste you the replies so you could see how much Wendy affected even those who didn't "meet" her.

Anyway, here are the responses from the people she played everquest with:

Angel Viola

Guestbook from the Vancouver Sun

The Vancouver Sun provides the first month for a guestbook at an "archive" service.  After the first month you must pay to retain this, and we will not be paying for the extension.  Here are the entries that were made in that guestbook.


Guest Book for

Wendy Goss

Page 1 of 1

   March 14, 2006
For a short time, I was an online friend of Wendy's.

She was a beautiful, special, caring, kind, helpful, and loving woman. And I was so very happy, blessed, and honoured that she was a part of my life.

I am so very sorry to know of Wendy's passing. But I know that heaven has gained a true, wonderful, and lovely angel. And I know that this angel will be looking down upon and will be there for those who she both loves and cares about.

Lastly, my heart, thoughts, and deepest sympathy goes out to Wendy's family and friends.
   Olga Stewart (Hinton, AB )

   March 13, 2006
I would like to express my sincere condolences to Wendy's family. Her loving and caring nature and her joyful spirit are greatly missed.
   Josie M. (USA)

   March 13, 2006
My family reaches out to John,Jan,Fran,Kelli and Greg. I used to have some wonderfull talks with Wendy about her job she always enjoyed what she did. She took great pleasure in hanging out with Bryan and Alex and i know they loved it to. She will be missed but always remembered. Hugs
   Bobby & Bob Hierck (Richmond, BC )

   March 13, 2006
My deepest sympathy to all of Wendy's family.Rest in peace Wendy,you put up a great fight.
   Bruce Baird (Richmond, BC )

   March 13, 2006

Our deepest condolences go out to Fran, John, Greg, Janice and Kelli in this time of sorrow. Thou she was here for only a short time she touched our souls forever. We will forever remember what a wonderful person Wendy was and rest well knowing that she is no longer in pain and watches down on us all from above.
   John Joyce & Bev Clifford (Kelowna, BC )

   March 12, 2006
We would like to add our very sincere condolences and sympathy to all of Wendy's family. Rest in peace Wendy, your pain is over
   Eleanor and Len Gallup (Sidney, BC )

   March 12, 2006
Chris had never met Wendy, and it has been so long for me that I will always have an image of a very young lady in my mind. Our sincere condolences to Fran and the whole family. I am still trying to get my head around it and cannot imagine how everyone feels or what is the right thing to say except.. Our thoughts and love to all, Stuart and Chris in Atlin.
   Stuart and Chris Simpson (Atlin, BC )

   March 12, 2006
May our memories of Wendy comfort us all and carry us through this time. Wendy lives on through each of us, and has become her own shining star.
   Susan Jacobs (Medicine Hat, AB )

   March 12, 2006
Our thoughts, prayers and sincere condolences go out to everyone that was fortunate enough to have Wendy in their lives.
   Del & Denise Gallup (Calgary, AB )

Angel Viola

Memorial: April 1, 2006

Wendy always sought humour even in the direst circumstances. In the planning for the memorial service, she repeatedly directed us to never forget a sense of humour. Well, since a number of people were planning on flying to attend the service and since we didn't want those people flying through Spring Break crowds, the service has been set for April 1.

Yhr service will be on the afternoon of April first in Cloverdale (Surrey) near Vancouver. More details will be provided later.
Angel Viola

If it is in the paper, it must be true.

I forgot to ask whether there are any Darksiders or other friends who want a copy of the Friday Herald. I would also like to hear from someone whether the Friday Sun in Vancouver has the Obit, and to save me a clipping if you don't want it.

First page of the obits. Top center of that page (B6). I'm not sure how she pulls top billing, but it's appropriate.