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Wendy Goss - her fight with Cancer
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in wendynews' LiveJournal:

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Saturday, May 19th, 2012
12:35 pm

Sunday, January 6th, 2008
8:07 am
SAIT Scholarship.
 Wendy Goss Memorial Scholarship 
(Bottom of the page in the 2007/08 book.)

Wendy Goss Memorial
Value: $3,000
Number: 1

  • Fourth semester
  • Highest GPA
  • In the event of a tie financial need will be considered

Deadline: May 30

Saturday, January 20th, 2007
7:24 pm
Memorial at Mimico Creek
For the move from Toronto to Vancouver in 2005, like the moves to Toronto in 03 and the move to Calgary later in 05, Wendy went first to pick up a job and pick out a temporary rental apartment. I would stay behind to pack up the house and arrange the move.

Musings on 2004 and the 2005 Toronto departureCollapse )
This was not an anniversary of the walk on the beach. That was ealier in January than this. But it was a winter memory to celebrate her birthday. This year has been much warmer than that winter. But a cold wave swept in to provide the ice floes for the memorial.

Pix from 2007 ceremonyCollapse )

From Barb:

Barb on 2007 ceremonyCollapse )
Wednesday, January 17th, 2007
9:23 pm
Thursday, August 17th, 2006
2:50 am
Samba dinner and Leyse reflections


There is a group of friends in Canada called the "Darksiders." They met a decade ago on a BBS board for the Vancouver area, and have been friends ever since. The age of this group ranges from 3 years old to 60 years old, and when I moved out here to be with Dennis, I was adopted into this group. That's how I met Wendy.

When I first moved out here, Wendy was very much the lynchpin of the group. It seemed like she had everyone's schedule memorized and if there wasn't something planned for everyone to get together, she would plan it. There were LAN parties every months, hikes every weeks, dinners and nights where we'd just get together to play cards, drink, and be really loud and merry. When Wendy moved away, things started happening far less frequently. When I found a job in Bellingham and started school, I rarely saw these people, although we all kept in touch with email and Livejournal.

There are two restaurants that are the standard special occasion restaurants in this group, 13 Coins, a seafood place in Seattle, and Samba, an all you can eat exotic meat grill. Before Wendy died, she stipulated in her will that the estate pay for one huge get together at Samba. It happened on Friday.  [ed note:  A memorial "clams run" was made to 13 Coins back in April.]

It was wonderful seeing everyone again. There was laughter and ribaldry and wit and many hugs and more than a little alcohol.

On Saturday, Dennis, Greg, Lori, Ken, Anneka and I walked up to the waterfall where Wendy's ashes were spread. We stood in the middle of the river and let the world be drowned by the sound of crashing water. I sipped from the place where she was spread. It was beautiful, as always. When we saw Anneka she ran up and gave me a hug, and promptly showed me how she remembered to act like a zombie. Adorable kid. Great company, great day. It's still hard to believe that the next trip that Greg makes out here, Wendy won't be with him.
Wednesday, July 5th, 2006
11:15 pm
Wendy's last physical presence has been released.
Wendy's last physical presence has been released, from the round rock in the middle foreground.

(click for high-rez version)

For Google Earthers, that's low-res at 49°21'11.81"N 122°27'5.16"W

Describing this place on Live Journal once drew surprise love into Wendy's best friend's life. Even before that, this was Wendy's favourite hike from the Darkside repertoire. The stream at this point is just the right mix of peace and activity.

The particular streamlet where I left Wendy was a few feet away from the rapids, part of them, yet not part of them. Conducting the flow quietly, quickly, and with great depth, yet without diminishing the bright noisy froth nearby. The center of attention, the main falls, is "over there", but visible from here. There is a lot of symbolism here that I'm having difficulty articulating.

Five or eight miles downstream, Gold Creek runs into Alouette Lake - the site of one of the few Darksider campouts that Wendy attended. This was where we learned the essence of Danish cooking -- everything tastes better wrapped in bacon.

Alouette Lake runs into Alouette Creek, Pitt River and then the Fraser River. The Fraser runs about two miles from where Wendy was living when I first met her, and about two miles in a different direction from the townhouse we renovated into perfection for her -- where she got to live for two days.

Further down, the Fraser River splits into two rivers and wraps its arms around Richmond. Wendy grew up in Richmond and always considered herself a Richmond girl. (Toronto? Surrey? No. Vancouver? Well, close enough. Calgary? Maybe eventually, but the time wasn't there.)

The last point of Richmond that the Fraser runs past on its way to the sea is Garry Point, where her stepfather was released two years ago. She missed him deeply, but now has a local guide wherever she is.
Saturday, May 13th, 2006
6:27 pm
Thursday, May 11th, 2006
3:02 am
Tree Dedication
McInnius & Holloway has planted a tree in Airdrie's Fletcher Park in living memory of Wendy Goss
Read more...Collapse )
Thursday, April 6th, 2006
1:26 pm
1:17 pm
From: feste

Wendy knew when the chemotherapy failed that she only had a limited time
left, and so she and Greg and her family talked about what she wanted
for her funeral. She even made a start on writing her eulogy. Here is
what she wrote:
Read more...Collapse )
That's as far as she got though. Greg tried continuing it from that
Read more...Collapse )
These are all facts, events in the life of someone we care about, but I
don't think they were why she wanted me to speak today. Wendy and I were
very good friends. I knew her about as well as a person can know another
person, I think. I was there for a lot of the events recounted in this
telling, such as Greg's proposal, which happened in mine and Geri's
dining room, and one of the cross-Canada drives. She and I shared much
of the same world-view, especially with regard to enjoying life at every
opportunity. Our sense of humor is very similar as well, or at least she
laughed at a lot of my dumb jokes.

It didn't take in-depth knowledge for Wendy to make a positive mpression
with people, though. Even in the short time she was at the Calgary ATCO
office, the people there were impressed by her work ethic and positive
attitude, and many of them came to visit her on one of her last lucid
days, the Saturday just before she left us. When her friends heard her
time was running out faster, many posted rememberances of her and how
she had affected them.
Read more...Collapse )
"So maybe it's not you or her that people grieve for. Maybe it's
everyone else, who never had that blessing."
Monday, April 3rd, 2006
1:23 am
Wendy's service: Credits
I live a thousand kilometres away from where we chose to have the service, so I did very little of the work, other than finding the photo albums and writing one speech.

The real work was done by Kelli and Fran Ashbridge, and by Michael and Lynette Dunn. And, of course Wendy. The overall strategic planning was done back in February. I delegated most of the actual tactical implementation other than a few yes/no questions with Mike several weeks back. The actual service was exactly the way I wanted it. Thanks for a perfect send-off.

I have said several times that you can measure the value of your own life by the value of the friends who choose to associate with you. I thank all of Wendy's friends for proving her value by, er, just being her friends. I thank both families, both mine and Wendy's, for their support through this period.

I will be posting a couple of extracts from the speeches once I get back to Calgary. (The internet connection I'm using to post this is very flakey and will fall over at any moment.)
Friday, March 24th, 2006
9:54 am
Sue Jacobs - Remembering Wendy
I’ve known Wendy for 35 years, but I’ve learned more about her in the last couple of months than I ever knew, and it has only been recently that I’ve discovered who Wendy really was. Now I pay tribute to the Wendy I had only just started to get to know.

My last visit to Wendy, just days before she passed, was a bittersweet reunion. I brought my infant son for her to meet, and even though she couldn’t see him, I took her hand and rested it on his head, and for those few short minutes I know she knew we were there. On that same day, we reminisced about the years gone past, looking at old photos and laughing as the memories that resurfaced. I like to think that Wendy was laughing with us.

Wendy did not go alone when she passed - she took with her a piece of everyone who had the pleasure of knowing her. I told Wendy that she will shine again someday… but I was wrong, she never stopped shining. Wendy sparked something in everyone she met, and that flame lives on in all of us.

For Wendy, the suffering is over. For those left to mourn her passing, the journey is just beginning. The hardest thing for a person to do is to helplessly watch someone you love die, and I now pay tribute to one person who stayed by Wendy’s side throughout her entire battle. I remember Wendy’s and Greg’s wedding, and how Wendy toasted Greg. She said she’d have never made it even that far without him by her side. And then when her illness recurred, he was still there, always by her side until the end. So now I pay tribute to Greg. For Greg, a new journey is just beginning. It won’t be an easy ride, but know that you are not alone. You are being thought of and remembered as you go forward with your life.

Finally, my heartfelt condolences go out to Wendy’s family… Frankie, Janice, Kelli and John, and to the extended family and friends - too many of us to name. Life is a gift, one that is so easily taken away without warning. There is no fairness or justice in it, and there is nothing positive surrounding it – it simply just sucks. May it bring us some small measure of comfort knowing that Wendy’s pain is over, and may memories of her ease the pain and emptiness we feel inside.

Read more...Collapse )
Wednesday, March 22nd, 2006
9:50 pm
There will be a memorial service for Wendy Goss on Saturday April 1st at 1:00PM. The service will be held in the Danish-Canadian Community Centre, located at 17672 57 Avenue in Cloverdale (Surrey). If you have not already talked to One of us, please reply here to let us know how many are coming.

Click for map.
Monday, March 20th, 2006
4:59 pm
Plan B -- Peace and Dignity
Back in January, I came home from the conference with Fran and Wendy and the oncologist. I was telling a friend on one of the IM chats that we had been forced to give up on the chemotherapy.

Q: So what is plan B?
A: Peace and dignity.
Q: THAT's a plan B??


It takes a lot of strength to keep the people around you sane in a situation like this. I hope that when my time I can show the strength that Wendy displayed in that final six weeks. Peace? Yes. Dignity? Yes. Other than a couple of days of quiet despair back in November, she faced the situation with calm reassurance that made it impossible for those nearby to panic. She set out to plan the details like she would any other voyage.

Even in that final week, when we all knew where things were going, she kept showing that flashbulb smile and cheerful approach to whatever was facing her. We all die sometime. Few do it with such strength and dignity. "Plan B" may not have been what my friend was looking for when he asked the question, but she fulfilled it to perfection.

I hope that I can find such strength and peace when my time comes.
Friday, March 17th, 2006
3:37 pm
Rough count of attendees for the service on April 1.
The service will be held on the afternoon of Saturday April 1. Since we need to rent chairs and sandwiches (just try getting the deposit back on the latter), we need a rough count of who will be there. So far I've got two from Calgary ATCO, and haven't been in contact yet with AmEx offices yet about this.

If you prefer, you can email Greg or Kelli or Mike/Lynn. If you post a reply here, please put a name on your post if you're not an LJ member (such as Atco or family members).
3:28 pm
Everquest comments

(ed note:  I had trouble decoding the cut'n'paste from EQ, so I hope that the following is correct.)

From: tadonnen

Date: Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:25:13 -0800

The forum post I made has slowed down, so I thought I could paste you the replies so you could see how much Wendy affected even those who didn't "meet" her.

Anyway, here are the responses from the people she played everquest with:

Tuesday, March 14th, 2006
6:00 pm
Guestbook from the Vancouver Sun
The Vancouver Sun provides the first month for a guestbook at an "archive" service.  After the first month you must pay to retain this, and we will not be paying for the extension.  Here are the entries that were made in that guestbook.


Guest Book for

Wendy Goss

Page 1 of 1

   March 14, 2006
For a short time, I was an online friend of Wendy's.

She was a beautiful, special, caring, kind, helpful, and loving woman. And I was so very happy, blessed, and honoured that she was a part of my life.

I am so very sorry to know of Wendy's passing. But I know that heaven has gained a true, wonderful, and lovely angel. And I know that this angel will be looking down upon and will be there for those who she both loves and cares about.

Lastly, my heart, thoughts, and deepest sympathy goes out to Wendy's family and friends.
   Olga Stewart (Hinton, AB )

   March 13, 2006
I would like to express my sincere condolences to Wendy's family. Her loving and caring nature and her joyful spirit are greatly missed.
   Josie M. (USA)

   March 13, 2006
My family reaches out to John,Jan,Fran,Kelli and Greg. I used to have some wonderfull talks with Wendy about her job she always enjoyed what she did. She took great pleasure in hanging out with Bryan and Alex and i know they loved it to. She will be missed but always remembered. Hugs
   Bobby & Bob Hierck (Richmond, BC )

   March 13, 2006
My deepest sympathy to all of Wendy's family.Rest in peace Wendy,you put up a great fight.
   Bruce Baird (Richmond, BC )

   March 13, 2006

Our deepest condolences go out to Fran, John, Greg, Janice and Kelli in this time of sorrow. Thou she was here for only a short time she touched our souls forever. We will forever remember what a wonderful person Wendy was and rest well knowing that she is no longer in pain and watches down on us all from above.
   John Joyce & Bev Clifford (Kelowna, BC )

   March 12, 2006
We would like to add our very sincere condolences and sympathy to all of Wendy's family. Rest in peace Wendy, your pain is over
   Eleanor and Len Gallup (Sidney, BC )

   March 12, 2006
Chris had never met Wendy, and it has been so long for me that I will always have an image of a very young lady in my mind. Our sincere condolences to Fran and the whole family. I am still trying to get my head around it and cannot imagine how everyone feels or what is the right thing to say except.. Our thoughts and love to all, Stuart and Chris in Atlin.
   Stuart and Chris Simpson (Atlin, BC )

   March 12, 2006
May our memories of Wendy comfort us all and carry us through this time. Wendy lives on through each of us, and has become her own shining star.
   Susan Jacobs (Medicine Hat, AB )

   March 12, 2006
Our thoughts, prayers and sincere condolences go out to everyone that was fortunate enough to have Wendy in their lives.
   Del & Denise Gallup (Calgary, AB )

Monday, March 13th, 2006
7:35 pm
Online Guestbook.
The obituary entry in the Vancouver Sun includes a month's connection to an "online guestbook".
http://www.legacy.com/CAN-VANCOUVER/Guestbook.asp?Page=Guestbook&PersonId=17015403 or http://tinyurl.com/m7glm

(I haven't decided whether to pay to extend that month -- they have a price for a year or another price for forever. If it expires a month from now I will bring those comments over here before they expire.)
Sunday, March 12th, 2006
12:08 pm
Memorial: April 1, 2006
Wendy always sought humour even in the direst circumstances. In the planning for the memorial service, she repeatedly directed us to never forget a sense of humour. Well, since a number of people were planning on flying to attend the service and since we didn't want those people flying through Spring Break crowds, the service has been set for April 1.

Yhr service will be on the afternoon of April first in Cloverdale (Surrey) near Vancouver. More details will be provided later.
Friday, March 10th, 2006
2:26 pm
If it is in the paper, it must be true.
I forgot to ask whether there are any Darksiders or other friends who want a copy of the Friday Herald. I would also like to hear from someone whether the Friday Sun in Vancouver has the Obit, and to save me a clipping if you don't want it.

First page of the obits. Top center of that page (B6). I'm not sure how she pulls top billing, but it's appropriate.
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